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AI wants to help you manage your trash! The Alligator News Roundup

Plus: International turtle smuggling; Angry dive bombing seagulls; Nuke is cool again; and so is plumbing as a career path.
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Number 5. Bloomberg. Cities look to AI to flag recycling mistakes.

In our “If they can, they probably will” department, the City of East Lansing, Michigan, has placed itself at the forefront of Ecological Protection Through Intimidation. Can incarceration be far behind?

Artificially intelligent cameras are being positioned on trash trucks to examine the contents of your recycle bin before emptying. When the camera finds something it doesn’t like — such as obviously non-recyclable plastic bags, plastic film or (gasp!) Styrofoam — it will rat you out to Responsible Authorities. The Responsible Authorities will then paste the photo to an old-fashioned postcard and send it to you in the mail, gently educating you on the sinfulness of unequally yoking your Styrofoam to your cardboard, as in the spirit of 2 Corinthians of 6:14b.

Failing to “distinguish between the clean and the unclean” is the new sin that will destroy us all. See Leviticus 11:47a.

Other cities have followed suit. Leduc, Alberta (that’s in Canada, for you midwestern hicks) is implementing a closely related program involving compost. Contamination of organic compost with non-organic materials was a real problem, but once they began photographing the problems and letting residents know someone was watching, the population cleaned up their act.

Nothing like the threat of local government action to help people stay on the straight and narrow. “For he beareth not the sword in vain,” see Romans 13:4.

Some observers have voiced minor concerns that when refuse is photographed, other items in the bin might also be inadvertently captured, such as discarded bank statements, prescription psychiatric drug refills, pregnancy tests, old Bible Study notes, or rags used for cleaning guns. If AI happens to stumble across something indicating illegal or anti-social activity, it would naturally be expected to inform police.

None of this offers a reason not to photograph the contents of your recycle, of course, although experts urge care in handling such sensitive information. But not to worry, the artificial intelligence is artificially intelligent enough to determine whether you are a threat to public safety or not. And whether you should be locked up or not.

Number 4. The Guardian. Woman pleads guilty of smuggling turtles by kayak into Canada.

Well, fortunately, she was caught just in time.

According to the Turtle Survival Alliance, the brightly colored Eastern box turtle is vulnerable because of roads, railroads, disease, illegal pet trade, and habitat destruction — read, “human activity.”

Eastern box turtle. The Guardian. Photo by Carolyn Kaster/AP.

Wan Yee Ng had stuffed 29 of the harmless critters each into a sock and then piled them into a duffle bag, and then tossed the bag into her kayak for the trip across Lake Wallace at the border of Vermont and Quebec. Lake Wallace is only about half an inch wide on my google map, so it’s probably no challenge for a kayaker.

Ms. Ng was apparently on her way to Montreal and then to China, where each turtle can command black market prices of $1,000 US. She now faces up to 10 years in an American prison and maybe a quarter-million-dollar fine. We are serious about our Eastern box turtles here.

It is not reported what Ms. Ng’s planned route to her final destination was. I’m not sure how the duffle bag full of turtles would manage coach class on an Airbus.

Number 3. The Gateway Pundit. Dive bombing seagulls terrorize Scottish coastal towns.

It’s probably a human-caused problem again. Declining populations of fish in the sea on the northeast coast of Scotland have persuaded seagulls to move inland in search of more plentiful food.

Food they are after are things like your chicken salad sandwich you were planning to have on a park bench, or your deluxe salmon platter with tasty remoulade sauce at a trendy outdoor bistro.

A gull in Lancashire found his way into a home and attempted to plunder the housecat’s food dish. There followed an unusual and raucous standoff, bird against cat.

Reportedly, a colony of 3,000 seagulls regularly patrols the skies above Lancashire, putting a vermin control officer in mind of World War II Luftwaffe raids over England. “Everyone dives for cover as they come in hot!”

Number 2. Just the News dot com. Nuclear power sees renewed support but has opponents.

A quiet renaissance of nuclear power is taking place in the U.S. as Big Tech requires more electricity than anyone ever thought we would need. Artificial Intelligence and crypto require huge processing capabilities, and lots of computers need lots of air conditioning.

Wind and solar are a really nice idea, in the same sense that 5 loaves and 2 fishes are a really nice idea for sharing one’s lunch, unless 5,000 guests show up. See Mark 6:41 and related passages.

Big Tech shall not be denied, and U.S. regulators are getting on board with the idea of opening or re-opening nuclear plants. Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm (the same Secretary Granholm who demonstrated the practicality of her electric car for a road trip by prepositioning staffers in gassers to hold charging stations open for her while members of the public waited hours for a re-charge) has recently approved the use of nukes in Georgia.

U.S. requirements due to technology initiatives, it seems, will triple the requirement for power generation in the next 25 years.

Wind and solar won’t catch it.

The founder of the Whole Earth Catalog, surely no hide-bound conservative fossil-fuel lover, has come to the conclusion that nuclear power is a really good idea. He points out that France is virtually completely powered by nuclear reactors. He wonders what our carbon output would be today if Americans had embraced nukes in the 1970s.

Go figure. Wisht we hadda thunk of that then.

On the other hand, Kimberly Wells, the fictional character played by Jane Fonda in The China Syndrome (1979), and who knew more than the rest of us about the dangers of nuclear power, shuddered to think of the risks. (At least in the studio.) And that film got no less than 4 academy award nominations. So there.

Also, the anti-nuke lobby in this country has a war chest of some $2.5 billion with which to fight nuclear power.

It will be interesting to see Google and Amazon and other Big Techs face off against Big Tree Huggers. It really puts a lot of stress on left-leaning bureaucrats and politicians who tend to love both sides.

Number 1. Facilities Dive dot com. Skilled trades gain traction with Gen Z.

Well, this is interesting!

The generation now expecting to enter the workforce, defined as Gen Z (age 12-30 or so, at this writing) are gravitating to real work in real trades.

Carpentry, plumbing, HVAC and electrical are making a comeback. A whopping 93% of Gen Z college grads say learning a skilled trade would be a better path for developing a career than going to college.

In America, it is a virtual impossibility to get 93% of ANY group to agree on ANYTHING. Maybe they just haven’t tried hard enough to find 6-figure employment in “Modern Alternative Sub-Continent Art Criticism,” or whatever they majored in.

COVID didn’t help anything, as college careers were put on hold, workers had to stay home, and many opted for early retirement. This has left the ranks of the employed with major gaps across the spectrum of jobs.

Twenty-somethings are suddenly discovering that if they happen to know how to solder a copper plumbing fitting, or replace a residential air conditioner compressor, or wire a new factory for lighting, they can be paid quite well. For decades, and with benefits, and nearly always without student debt.

Hope springs eternal. There is certainly a place for higher education, but we will also always need plumbers in our midst. These assertions are not contradictory; they can both be true at the same time. Even university libraries have air conditioning and bathrooms.

Nothing brings joy to a crowded household like a competent plumber.

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Thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, October 25, 2024.

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Have a good week. Be sure to help save the planet by separating your trash from your trash, and watch out for the seagulls! They gotta eat, too! Enjoy the weekend!

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The Alligator News Roundup
The Alligator News Roundup is a review of selected news items of the week with commentary, which some find sarcastic, dryly humorous and entertaining.