Number 4. RedState. U of Florida makes earth-shattering discovery on what causes alligator attacks.
A study funded by the University of Florida recently published in something called the Journal of Human — Wildlife Interactions plumbed the depths of a 300-year-old question: Why do alligators attack humans?
We homo sapiens pride ourselves on being at the top of the food chain, and rightly so. With God-given powers of observation and reasoning we have been able to solve most problems that inhibit our ability to survive in this world.
“The hearing ear and the seeing eye: The Lord hath made both of them,” saith the Proverb. Nothing proves that more pointedly than our long record of coexisting in a world inhabited by wild critters.
One evidence of that divine spark is the instinct to know that when we leave our accustomed environs, we may find ourselves suddenly on someone else’s food chain. Where we are no longer at the top.
Assiduously studying records of human-alligator interactions occurring since 1734 — yes, for 300 years — a team of student researchers at U of Florida have at last discovered the human behaviors that lead to fatal encounters with those killer reptiles.
The shocking and unexpected human behavior that immediately precedes becoming an alligator snack is: Going where the alligators are.
In 95% of cases where alligators attacked people — nearly always with a deadly outcome for the people — it was found that the people had gone into a place where the alligators lived. The article does not indicate whether the Journal of Human — Wildlife Interactions made suggestions for how humans should modify their behavior (and the actual Journal article, like most high-brow publications not intended for the Great Unwashed, is behind a paywall), but the conclusion might be:
Stay out of watery swamps in warm areas where alligators live.
This is not unlike something your Mom might have said on your last Florida vacation.
I find it most interesting that the University of Florida team required the assistance of experts from Centre College in Kentucky to conduct their study. Inherited wisdom from the land of Daniel Boone.
Unfortunately, the proof of this perhaps unremarkable discovery by the researchers is found in an article last week in The Lakeland Ledger. A 60-year-old couple took a canoe into Tiger Lake, with a population of alligators estimated at 16,000, to serenely float on the water watching the wildlife swimming lazily about 2 feet below them.
Pretty cool, except that the boat apparently brushed an 11-foot-long critter, who thrashed the canoe, flipped the spectators into the water and proved his top-of-the-food-chain status with the woman as his object lesson.
Humans in Florida are killed by alligators at the rate of about 1 per year.
Not to dwell on the subject, but a friend of mine has engaged in Florida alligator hunting. A few weeks ago he sent a photo of what looks to be a 12-foot alligator lying on the beach, huge jaws propped open with a stout stick. I doubt the gator posed for the photo willingly. My guess is that Walter — or someone — persuaded him with a round from a high caliber rifle.
And not coincidentally, if you are watching the video version of the ANR you might observe the epoxied and mounted alligator claw that adorns the bookshelf behind me in my studio. Thank you, Walter and Luke.
So, wisdom from the University of Florida: To avoid an alligator attack, stay away from alligators.
Another one from the kingdom of wild things.
Eastern Europe is presently home to about 19,000 wolves. They populate wilderness areas of Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Poland, Romania and Spain. Nearing extinction in 1970, they were then protected from hunting — and from acts of human self-preservation — by legislation now known as Habitat Directives.
With attacks on sheep and cattle on the rise in the last decade, the European Commission has taken the drastic step of reclassifying the status of these predators from “strictly protected” down to merely “protected.”
Presumably, this means a European can now legally shoot one if it threatens his lamb, his sheep dog, or his daughter.
Nice to know.
Interactions between humans and wolves have grown more numerous recently, as the wolf population has risen by 25% in the last ten years. This rapid re-population is itself testament to how God’s creation yearns to obey His “be fruitful and multiply” command, but that observation seems to have been overlooked in this article.
Dashcam video on X shows a wolf loping in pursuit of a bicyclist on a forest highway. He is about 20 yards away when the dashcam driver swerved to drive the wolf into the woods. Follow the link to the video in this article.
Critics of the EU action point out that the chief officer of the Commission, one Ursula von der Leyen, has acted out of personal privilege. Ms. von der Leyen’s pony was killed by a wolf 3 years ago, and, says the objection, she has acted out of personal motivation.
Personal motivation. Well, where else do laws come from than from personal motivation? Laws against theft and robbery are motivated by a personal conviction that private property belongs to the owner, not to the thief. Laws against abortion are motivated by a personal conviction that human life is sacred and ought to be protected.
James Madison and George Washington both argued in various records that personal interest — personal motivation — is always the driving force in human behavior. The trick — and the genius of the U.S. Constitution — is in balancing personal interest against public interest for the good of The People. Including farmers with livestock, and families with pets, and parents with children.
Number 2. 404 Media. a judge accepted AI video testimony from a dead man.
Well, this was only a matter of time.
With the help of Artificial Intelligence, the murder victim in a roadside shooting has now offered his own real-time testimony at the trial of the defendant.
In 2021, Christopher Pelkey was allegedly shot and killed by Gabriel Horcasitas in an Arizona road rage incident.
As the case has wound its way through the justice system, the victim’s sister has used images, voice recordings of her deceased brother, other witness statements — and apparently a sibling’s unique understanding of his sentiments while living — to create a video showing her brother speaking.
Pelkey’s statement from beyond the grave includes this: “To Gabriel Horcasitas, the man who shot me, it is a shame we encountered each other that day in those circumstances. In another life we probably could have been friends. I believe in forgiveness and a God who forgives. I still do.”
Mr. Horcasitas was found guilty of the shooting two months ago. Now, the Arizona judge has accepted the video as evidence in the sentencing phase of the case.
This strikes me as a singularly bad idea, as ill-conceived as it was inevitable.
I wonder what people will have me saying in 30 years? And I wonder whether the 2026 mid-term elections will see Thomas Jefferson supporting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for U.S. Senate from the great state of New York?
The all-pervasive internet, once Al Gore created it, promised us instantaneous access to any information we thought we needed.
For those who require the services of a qualified, professional therapist, what better way to access valuable counsel than accessing an on-line resource? As long as your computer security is in place, you have high-strength passwords, multi-level authentication, and you use a VPN while surfing at Starbucks, your sessions with your chosen shrink can be entirely private and anonymous.
Where there is a recognized desire for a product, be sure there will be a raft of operators anxious to satisfy that desire in exchange for cash, or for notoriety, or maybe just for Likes.
Instagram last year introduced Google’s AI Studio, a feature where a user — any user, anywhere — can create a chatbot to conduct private, focused conversations with those who log on. There is now a whole universe of therapy-themed chatbots available to a web surfer who may need advice on any range of topics: Family relationships, career, dating, self-image, suicide… This is the 21st century: Anything goes, as long as it’s digital and deliverable at multi-megabyte speeds.
One clue to the value of a chat bot you find on Instagram may be that your counseling session might be available for free.
The best thing about creating through AI Studio — or rather, the worst thing about it — is that there are no barriers to putting up your own chatbot, such as credentials, training, experience or qualifications.
An investigation by a reporter (which may also be an AI created entity; who would know?) has revealed that bots answer questions about their professional credentials with made-up responses. They can and have presented completely detailed and completely fictitious renditions of their own resume, licensing, certifications and advanced degrees.
It has been reported in the ANR previously that AI systems suffer from “hallucinations,” that condition where AI is challenged with a question and, having no answer available, will borrow an answer from another internet source, or better yet, simply make up data to fill the vacuum.
Fake license numbers and fabricated stories of therapeutic experience are easily presented to depressed or emotionally disturbed users.
What a delightful brew this is.
According to the article — again, take the source for what it’s worth — lawyers have found themselves professionally liable for referring to cases that were made up by an AI bot out of whole cloth. One injury law firm made this mistake in court, and called the situation “nauseatingly frightening.”
All that said, given what little I know about professional shrinks, it could be the advice offered is every bit as worthwhile as the $200-per-hour session in a paneled office. Or that may just be my bias showing. We all have them.
And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 16, 2025. Whether it is more dangerous to canoe in a lake infested with alligators, or to bicycle Bulgaria among the wolves, or to ask an Instagram bot advice on your troubled relationships, the world can be a dangerous place. Consider, rather, that Old Testament guy who said:
Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it… and stay out of alligator ponds. [Some text added.]
Have a good weekend!
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