Number 4. CBS News. Bald eagle drops cat through windshield in North Carolina.
Maybe the cat wasn’t dead before it came through the windshield, but it pretty much was afterwards.
A North Carolina woman’s morning commute was interrupted as she cruised down U.S. Highway 74. The hole left in her car’s windshield, passenger side, was impressive. In a separate report the words “cat guts” and “upholstery” were used.
The bomber was apparently a bald eagle. They can grow up to 3 feet tall and weigh as much as 14 lbs with an 8-foot wingspan. They can carry several lbs in their talons. In this case, it would be hard to say how much the cat had weighed, for reasons that might be apparent.
It is not clear why the eagle dropped the cat. Maybe it was heavier than he had reckoned.
Generally, bald eagles do not prefer running cats as targets, preferring something more stationary. Road kill, for example.
Having one of those dropped into the cockpit sounds like it could be distressing.
Whatever you do, don’t shoot the bald eagle down. That would be a federal crime.
Speaking of carrion eaters, the vulture population is in trouble world-wide.
The short version of this story is that the agriculture business discovered a new pharmaceutical treatment that could be used easily and cheaply for livestock. An active ingredient called Diclofenac began being used on herds of cattle around the world about 20 years ago.
The cattle became healthier, but Diclofenac remained in their carcasses after they went to slaughter.
In many cases, particularly in India according to this story, discarded bovine carcasses are left to be cleaned up by scavengers, including vultures.
Vultures, sensitive and delicate creatures that they are, cannot tolerate Diclofenac. In India, they began dying by the hundreds, then by the thousands.
This may not really sound like a problem… who has pet vultures, anyway?
But once the vultures were gone, who was left to clean up the dead cows? Not just cows, but any carcass left in a field. Parts of decaying and diseased flesh found their way into the ground water.
Now, it is estimated that as many as half a million Indian nationals have died of diseases left over from unattended carcasses.
It seems that nature, or more to the point, Nature’s God, has instituted natural systems to keep the world turning as it ought. Despite the consequences of the Fall of Man — evidences of which are all around us daily — those systems continue to work in the background, mostly unseen. (Thankfully.) Once we begin to fiddle with things like chemical treatments, a delicate balance can be upset.
Number 2. Breitbart. Regular cannabis use causes persistent vomiting.
Well! Who could possibly have predicted that consistent long-term use of a federally controlled Schedule 1 drug could have produced unpleasant physical complications?
Spoiler alert: Everyone who has thought about it could have predicted this.
Marijuana, along with close friends heroin, LSD, Ecstacy, methaqualone and peyote, are defined as “drugs with no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.”
So when patients in the 18-35 year old range began showing up in droves at emergency rooms with symptoms consistent with food poisoning, the World Health Organization (WHO?) took action. WHO declared a new disease category: Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome, or CHS.
Don’t worry, it has it’s own official diagnosis code, R11.16, which can be used for insurance reimbursement.
Emergency room visits spiked up 650% among the aforementioned 18-35 demographic between 2016 and 2021. Much of that, no doubt, was due to COVID. It is instructive to note, however, that THC potency in commonly available marijuana has increased 400% from its roots 20 years earlier. Today’s Mary Jane is much stronger than your grandfather’s mellow friend.
CHS has frequently been misdiagnosed as food poisoning. The symptom of actual CHS is a long-term, daily bout of uncontrollable nausea which can last for hours at a time.
That can make it tough to hold a job.
Using cannabis is now legal in 40 states for medicinal purposes — despite the federal code which still maintains there is no medical benefit — and in more than half of those states it is also legal for mere recreation.
For those unfortunate users who find themselves victimized by CHS — which means they spend about half of every waking day vomiting — there is a ray of hope. The Cleveland Clinic says definitively: “The only known treatment to permanently get rid of CHS is to stop cannabis use completely.”
There you have it. Personal choices have consequences.
No, this is not satire. This is much better than satire.
Satire takes a real set of outlandish events and hypes them up into an unbelievable scenario, which by its nature is comedy.
This story takes that real set of outlandish events and turns them into viral clicks on the world wide web.
Social media influencer Keith Castillo, a Texas resident who goes by the handle “povwolfy” online, is seeking internet fame by handing out cheap Harbor Freight “corn knives” — which are actually machetes, but few retailers will label them as such — along with bottles of whiskey. Mr. Castillo’s targets are homeless persons he finds in major cities.
With his smartphone camera running, Castillo offers the blade, still in its original Harbor Freight packaging, and a small bottle of 60-proof cinnamon whiskey, to willing recipients.
The machete, the hopeful influencer claims, is merely a tool promoting personal safety and protection for the vulnerable population. What the whiskey is for is not made clear, but an educated guess is that it offers the incentive to accept the big knife. Both are filmed and posted to Instagram and TikTok.
Why didn’t I think of this?
Lest you think Mr. Castillo has spent real money on this effort, look up “small bottle of Canadian Cimarron whiskey”. It comes to about 40 cents per bottle at Instacart.
The machete lists for $6.99 at my local Harbor Freight. Probably he worked a deal to purchase in bulk.
So far, Castillo has operated in Austin, New Orleans and Little Rock. He hopes to enter New York City, Las Vegas and Los Angeles. When challenged as to the wisdom of providing this population with 18-inch-long machetes, the unusual philanthropist insisted he had discussed the program with local law enforcement authorities and was assured there was nothing illegal about it.
Besides that, he denies any hint of immorality. It’s not about values. “Honestly,” he says, “I don’t care. It’s just good for clicks.”
And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, December 5, 2025. The year is rapidly drawing to a close. For your Christmas shopping, get in line at Harbor Freight. Imagine the delight in the eyes of your grandson when he sees a full-size corn knife hanging by his stocking from the mantle.
Or you could order your favorite Alligator Wrestling coffee mug for that special someone. (It comes with free shipping.)
Enjoy your weekend!
