Number 5. Oxford University Press. Brain Rot named Oxford Word of the Year.
Can 37,000 random voters possibly be wrong? The article does not say where Oxford University found their 37,000 voters, but they all, or least a majority, or maybe just a plurality, agreed that Brain Rot is the new hot word for 2024.
Brain Rot is defined as “the deterioration of a mental state, due to overconsumption of trivial data found online.”
In other words, Tik Tok videos.
Oxford experts (Wait — there are experts who study online trivia??) found that the term Brain Rot was used to describe online material, or the intellectual deficiency in those who viewed such online material, twice as often in 2024 as in 2023.
So it would seem that a growing number of people are familiar with the concept of Brain Rot.
That is not exactly comforting.
The word is actually 200 years old. Henry David Thoreau used the term in 1854 to describe the nasty, intellectually impoverished big-city society he fled in favor of the quiet solace he found at Walden Pond. He challenged the social order with a question related to his contemporary potato famine prevalent in Ireland:
“While England endeavors to cure the potato rot, will not any endeavor to cure the brain-rot – which prevails so much more widely and fatally?”
If he had only known that it would still be with us two centuries later, and big enough to get added to the dictionary.
Number 4. UPI dot com. 132-year-old message in a bottle at Scottish lighthouse.
And while we are across the Pond, here’s another story from a different past.
Workers at Corsewall Lighthouse in western Scotland opened up an inside wall for remodel and voila! found Time in a Bottle. (With ANR apologies to Jim Croce.)
Dated September 4, 1892, then-engineers documented their installation of a new light on the 100-foot tower. Each signed the note and documented the manufacturer of the light and lens. They sealed the note inside a bottle, complete with period-authentic cork, and hid it in a wall behind a cupboard.
Current mechanical engineer Ross Russell found the item when he wrecked out panels behind the cabinet. The discoverer planned to add his own note and restore the bottle to its hiding place.
Reportedly, there was some disappointment among the finders that there was no map of hidden pirate treasure within. But there may be a silver lining for the Scots yet.
Which of you, planning a trip to Scotland, might now be persuaded to spend a night at the Corsewall Lighthouse Hotel and see the site of the time capsule? When you do, please send your pics to curt@alligatorpublishing.com.
Number 3. Gothamist dot com. Cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in New York.
Back in the USA, we note that New Yorkers must be so proud of their Governor. Kathy Hochul signed the bill repealing a 100-year-old law that made adultery punishable by 90 days in jail. Hochul herself claims to have been married to her husband for 40 years now, but she was quick to point out that many other relationships are complex. Presumably, this complexity means they need some relief from the straight-jacket of the wedding vow.
Which both parties entered into freely, with that “till death do us part” language.
Only 10 Empire Staters have been charged under the now-defunct statute in the last 50 years or so, and some of those cases were dropped.
So New York joins the other 17 states that once considered adultery a crime, and which are now marching toward decriminalization.
One could argue that adultery, and even bigamy, was popular in the Bible. The Old Testament is filled with tawdry stories of illicit love affairs. A wise man I heard speak on this topic once suggested that, while many men had multiple wives and “not-wives” in former days, a look at the results in their families might be instructive.
In virtually every case where an Old Testament figure violated the “one man/one wife” convention, trouble and heartache followed. Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon are cases in point.
But all that is ancient history… literally. Today is a bright new day in New York, which has at last joined the enlightened masses slouching toward our self-made, commitment-free future. And toward the inevitable consequences of such a journey.
Number 2. EFPL News. Stimulating hypothalamus restores walking in paralyzed patients.
I don’t have any idea who EFPL is, but their website says they are École Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne, and any mention of their article requires the use of the author’s name. Which in this case is Michael David Mitchell.
EFPL seems to have something to do with brain science, which I can conclude because there are lots of mentions of “neuro”-something.
The current post says that researchers have been practicing Deep Brain Stimulation, DBS, which involves planting a tiny electric gizmo inside somebody’s brain. It does not seem to require an extension cord, which is a plus. They have used DBS to treat Parkinson’s disease and other ailments.
When doctors applied the DBS technique to something called the lateral hypothalamus — which I am sure all you ANR readers already guessed was the target — they found unexpected happy results. A paralyzed guy can walk again, probably because the electrode thingy revitalized an alternate nerve track that did… something good.
As you can see, I have studied this closely. This is the part I like:
A 54-year-old from Austria became a paraplegic 20 years ago because of a ski accident. Still on the operating table after the DBS surgery, during which he was wide awake, he immediately felt sensations in his legs. Walking was immediately available to him.
“Last year on vacation,” the Austrian reported, “it was no problem to walk a couple of steps down and back to the sea… I can also reach things in my cupboards in the kitchen.”
Which helps balance out the brain rot from this advancing-technology world we inhabit.
Number 1. BBC. Man who found smooth Mars bar gets compensation.
Now here is one we can really sink our teeth into.
One Harry Seager of Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire (I think that’s another place in England or something) bought a candy bar at a convenience store. When he unwrapped it, he found something missing.
The Mars bar, which is supposed to have that rippled-looking wavy surface, came out of the package smooth. Well, that’s just not right, thought Mr. Seager. He photographed the sub-par Bar and wrote to Mars for an explanation.
It turns out that Mars bars are still made in Slough, Berkshire, where they have been manufactured for almost a hundred years. During processing, he candy bars travel down a conveyor belt. At the end, they are hit by a blast of compressed air — sort of like what happens when you drive your car out of the automatic car wash — and that adds the crenelated surface appearance. (Just go look it up. Crenelated: Like the uneven ribs or gaps on the top of a castle wall; or the tops of waves in the sea.)
The Mars bars that somehow evade the compressed air are removed from the production line manually before packaging, and then are probably eaten by a nearby teenager who doesn’t need the calories or the sugar.
Mr. Seager’s example escaped the culling. (Culling: the process of removing something unwanted. Will there be more of this vocabulary stuff?)
When he wrote to Mars asking what happened, they apologized and sent him a check for $2. (Actually, 2 pounds, but I don’t how to show that funny pounds-sign thing on my keyboard in this interface.)
Seager was pleasantly surprised to get the money, and can now purchase 2 additional Mars bars. Which he probably doesn’t need, either.
And that is The Alligator News Roundup missive (missive: a written communication or letter) for Friday, December 6, Year of Our Lord 2024, Whose first coming we celebrate again in a couple of weeks. The way our technology is accelerating, it makes me more and more anxious for His Second Coming. Keep watching! And stay away from the brain rot!
Have a good weekend!
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