Number 4. Weather dot com. In Florida, iguanas are falling from trees.
In most of the country, when we have unexpected heavy rain, it “rains cat and dogs.” In Florida, when they have unexpected cold, it rains iguanas.
Actual iguanas, not metaphorical iguanas.
Iguanas are cold-blooded reptiles; they have no internal body heat to keep them functioning at a constant 98.6, or whatever. This allows them to survive winter months without food through a process of brumation. Brumation is similar to hibernation, which we all know about because of Jungle Book’s Baloo. The difference is that a cold-blooded brumating reptile, unlike a warm-blooded hibernating animal, will occasionally wake up to drink water and sun himself on warm days.
That explains why Brer Terrapin can bury himself in the mud for the winter while only emerging periodically when the sun is out.
Back to the iguanas. They sleep in trees, muscles programmed to cling to the branches. When the recent cold snap hit Florida (which was probably due to climate change caused by your insensitive and uncaring V-8, or maybe by Trump’s tariffs) temperatures dropped below 50F and iguana muscles seized up.
Iguanas, in the blissful ignorance of nascent brumation, let loose the branches and began falling to the ground. Authorities warn citizens not to pick them up or try to render aid. When the temps warm up, they’ll thaw out and climb back into the tree.
Meanwhile, watch your step on your morning walks in the forest.
Number 3. South China Morning Post. Online scammers find legal convictions now involve caning.
Interesting how the modern Age of Information has prompted a return to medieval punishment.
Scamming, taking money from a victim who cooperates only because of fraudulent representations, has become the principal crime in Singapore. This is no doubt due to how easy it has become to identify victims by using the internet.
Singaporeans lost over $1 billion US to scams last year, and is on track to match that in 2025. Scamming represents 60% of criminal cases in that country.
The Parliament had had enough, and in March this year a bill was introduced to punish scammers and their money mules (presumably those who transport the cash) by caning. The penalty can be assigned anywhere from 6 to 24 strokes.
The convict is lashed to a pole and struck across his bare rump with a cane pole. A form of flogging, caning will leave a mark. It is also a little bit humiliating. Females are excluded from caning.
The most famous caning case in the U.S. was an impromptu affair carried out in the Senate chambers in Washington, D.C. in 1856.
Senator Charles Sumner (R-Massachusetts) had made a rousing and pointed speech about the evils of slavery, saying some fairly offensive things about specific Southern sympathizers. A friend of one of those named was U.S. Representative Preston Brooks (D-South Carolina).
Brooks entered the Senate chambers after adjournment to find Sumner sitting at his desk doing paperwork. Brooks clubbed Sumner over the head several times with his heavy riding stick, drawing blood. Sumner fled, and Brooks calmly walked away.
This was in the run-up to the Civil War and showed the intensity of emotion surrounding the slavery question.
Caning as a form of legal penalty was finally abolished in the U.S. in 1967 (the most recent use was in Delaware in 1952) but is still practiced in a handful of Far East countries, Singapore among them.
Given the increasing level of acrimony and vituperation on Capitol Hill however, caning may still find its way into modern history among our electeds.
Having been contacted numerous times by would-be scammers, I would not be opposed to revisiting the issue.
Number 2. USA Today. New Russian AI-powered robot fails publicly.
China has introduced their robot, the U.S. is rapidly moving into robots, and now Russia has unveiled their own version. To the theme music from Rocky, a robot named AIDOL walked onto stage this week. AIDOL’s debut did not last long, but it was eventful.
As soon as AIDOL raised his right arm to wave to the assembled crowd, something in the balance algorithm didn’t work quite right and he suddenly pitched over onto his face. Two humans rushed out from backstage to help him up — which is another way of saying that they merely dragged him away — while a third drew a curtain over the scene.
AIDOL is powered by a 48-volt battery, ensuring a 6-hour operational period. He weighs 200 lbs, is over 6 ft tall, and his silicon facial skin can express a dozen different emotions and “hundreds of microexpressions.”
Or at least, he is said to be able to do so when not lying flat on his face, lifeless, before an audience.
A spokesperson for AIDOL’s creator, a Russian firm creatively named the same — AIDOL — took a page from Elon Musk’s playbook and called the disaster “a successful mistake.” AIDOL the company will study the situation and implement corrections to AIDOL the robot’s programming.
This AI thing is really entertaining.
Number 1. Sportico dot com. Tennis player wins millions with never having won a title.
He has somehow become the world’s best, even though he has never won a tournament.
The 26-year-old Spanish tennis contender Alejandro Davidovich Fokina has competed in 138 ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) singles tournaments and has never won any of them.
Despite this less-than-stellar record, Mr. Fokina is ranked 15th in the ATP. He has won 43 matches this year, including some over players in the top 10, but he has somehow managed to crash and burn in every major tournament.
In such a painful career, he has stumbled his way to $10 million in consolation prize money, the most that any ATP contestant has ever earned. In terms of career earnings. Fokina is more than $3 million ahead of his nearest competitor, American MacKenzie McDonald.
This is probably somewhat humbling for Taylor Fritz, the American who is currently No. 4 in the world with 10 title wins. Fritz has met Fokina 8 times in individual matches, and both men have a 4-4 record against each other. This makes them auguably equal in skill, yet the American has earned far less than the Spaniard, and is rich only in titles, not in dollars.
Even though Alejandro Fokina has not won a singles ATP title, he actually did participate in winning one doubles title with partner Roberto Carballes Baena. The pair was victorious in the 2020 Chile Open, which netted them each $17,000.
Hardly a rounding error in a $10 million career.
I am sure Fokina is haunted by being in the top 20 tennis players in the world without having won a title match… but he may be slightly consoled with the $10 million in his bank account.
And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, November 21, 2025. Next week, Thanksgiving. Reflect on how thankful you are that you do not have to travel the world only to be humiliated at yet another highly publicized tennis match.
Enjoy your weekend!
