Yes! It’s The Alligator News Roundup once again! Now your weekend can start in earnest!
Prompt to ChatGPT: Write an introduction to this week’s Alligator News Roundup in the tone of a happy-go-lucky yet sincere cowboy named Roy:
Well, howdy there, folks! Welcome to The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 17, 2024! I reckon it's time to saddle up and get y'all caught up on all the happenings 'round these parts. So sit back, relax, and let ol' Roy fill ya in on what's been stirrin' up the dust.
Now, hold onto your hats, 'cause we've got a roundup of stories hotter than a branding iron on a summer's day! From the bustling streets to the wide-open plains, we're bringin' you the scoop on everything from local shindigs to global hoedowns.
But fear not, dear cowpokes, 'cause even if you've been busier than a one-legged man in a kickin' contest, we've got you covered. So kick off them spurs, lean back in your chair, and let the Alligator News Roundup be your guide through the wild frontier of current events.
Number 5. The Western Journal. Storm ravages world’s largest floating solar plant.
Soon after it was launched, the enormous floating solar power collection array at India’s Omkareshwar Dam was pummeled by a storm last month.
The novel floating solar plant is intended to use otherwise wasted real estate in a reservoir. The separate panels are linked together so that they may rise and fall with water level and accommodate some degree of wave action due to high winds.
When weather forecasters think “high winds” at sea, they are usually contemplating extreme threats above 75 mph. The April storm that took the new solar array offline had winds of 31 mph.
Just a gentle Kansas breeze.
Because India has recently joined the international “net-zero” chorus, the country intends to be carbon-free in only 45 years. To that end, they have begun to shift energy reliance from hydropower and coal to solar.
On calm days (but not calm nights) that will probably work just fine. But the recent storm has severely damaged the new solar array and it will be offline for an undetermined period while repairs are made.
Who would ever have expected vicious winds of over 30 mph at the Omkareshwar Dam?
This will result in a daily power shortage in India of 14 gigawatts about 3 weeks from now.
I wish I knew what that meant in terms of manufacturing, consumer use, traffic lights and phone chargers. They article does not say. But it sounds bad.
Number 4. The Gateway Pundit. New portal bridging New York and Dublin goes awry.
Now THIS is what the world needs! A live, two-way video hookup across the ocean so that Americans and the Irish can enjoy one another’s company and engage in meaningful, deep civilization-bridging discussions.
The pair of 10-foot-tall circular video monitors, thousands of miles distant from each other, are always on (or were for a while) and transmit live two-way video. Cultural performances were planned so that we may revel in each other’s… er… culture.
I actually saw this already in a slightly different venue on the original TV Star Trek S1E28 titled, “The City on the Edge of Forever,” where Dr. McCoy jumps through a round time machine and Kirk and Spock have to go after him. They all end up in Depression Era New York City, which is where they have to go to save the modern Federation, or something.
Anyway, the new machines in New York and Dublin can apparently also show recorded video. Which was why, the second day the link was up, somebody in Dublin broadcast video of the 9/11 attacks to their new friends across the Atlantic. They showed the planes hitting the Towers, and the Towers falling.
Which was probably a real downer for the New Yorkers. After that, lots of gentle, well-intentioned, international “We are the world” types started showing rude hand gestures to each other.
And that sort of put a damper on the whole “let’s bring the world together” thing.
Maybe we should just go back to the Coca-Cola song about teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony.
At least renters have their priorities aligned properly.
Zillow, the real estate search engine, and something called Bark (which, going out on a limb, I would guess is a dog-friendly website) have released results of a joint survey. They contend that people seeking apartments look first for a pet-friendly location.
Never mind whether the new digs has a washing machine. That is further down the list.
Pet friendly ranks up there with school district, walkability and taxes.
It turns out Texas has the three most pet-friendly cities in the nation: Dallas, Austin and San Antonio. Labradors and golden retrievers are popular there, while Phoenix and Seattle are pit bull territory.
Not sure why that would be the case, but Bark don’t lie.
So the pets reign pretty well supreme on apartment amenities. And they will, probably until you start to go through the dirty clothes hamper for the third time, wondering why you didn’t look for a place with a washing machine.
Number 2. The Western Journal. Virginia school board returns to Confederate school names.
Well, it seems that not EVERYONE is denying their history.
The Shenandoah County School Board this week reversed a decision by that very same school board from four years ago by changing two schools back to their original names. In the wake of the George Floyd riots of 2020, three Confederate generals had been erased.
Stonewall Jackson, Turney Ashby and Robert E. Lee were the names removed. Jackson and Ashby were both instrumental in the South’s successful Shenandoah Valley campaign early in the first years of the Civil War, when the Confederacy was ascendant and the Union was losing most battles. Robert E. Lee was, of course, the commanding general of Confederate forces.
Stonewall Jackson High School had been renamed Mountain View High School. Ashby Lee Elementary had been renamed Honey Run Elementary.
A petition was circulated this year, claiming that the names “hold historical significance” and suggesting the history associated with them is “integral” to the community.
The Board reversed the 2020 decision on the grounds that the vote was procedurally flawed. No details of the flaw are given in the article.
Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was by all accounts the most accomplished general the South offered. In the U.S.-Mexican War of 1846, 15 years prior to the U.S. Civil War, Jackson was promoted twice, from Lieutenant to Captain, and then to Major. His brilliant and aggressive artillery tactics in that earlier conflict gained him well-deserved attention.
In the 1862 Shenandoah Valley campaign, Jackson’s deceptive troop movements gave him huge victories over far superior Union forces.
Stonewall Jackson was killed by friendly fire when his own sentries shot him in the dark with multiple .57 rounds in May, 1863. That was less than two months prior to the decisive Battle of Gettysburg. The loss of Jackson was a game-changer for the South, and his loss no doubt contributed to the Union victory in that battle.
Turney Ashby was a charismatic and energetic cavalry commander, much loved by his troops. Ashby served under Jackson and was killed in a skirmish during the waning days of the Shenandoah campaign in 1862.
So now the Shenandoah Valley School Board has decided to restore the names of their Civil War fighters to their public school buildings.
It is said that those who deny their history are destined to repeat it. The School Board, by restoring the historic names, has chosen to own their history. Which is not the same as endorsing it, and is probably a good practice for us all.
What could possibly go wrong here?
Just as we have seen the rise in UAVs (unmanned aerial vehicles) in war zones, now we find that Quadrupedal Unmanned Ground Vehicles (Q-UVGs) are the coming thing. Ghost Robotics has developed a four-footed robot with a remotely controlled rifle strapped to his back.
The contraption looks like a cross between a Star Wars special effect and the spider from Nightmare Before Christmas.
The U.S. Marine Special Operations Command is testing two of the units. Their approach includes a “human-in-the-loop,” that is, a remotely located human operator who uses a high-resolution camera to make the shoot/don’t shoot decision.
Other competitors are in the race. Boston Robotics has pledged never to arm their own robot ground vehicle designs, other than those built for military use. I’m not sure the pledge makes me feel much better. The Unitree Go2 robot dog was designed with an integrated flame thrower and made available for sale to the general public.
Given the double-time march of our culture toward extremes in virtually every other arena of morality in the last 10 years, it’s only a matter of time before we see video of the Q-UVG knocking over a convenience store. I suppose as long as you send your own robot dog to buy the milk, and the evil robot dog attacks the store where the robot camera films everything, all may be fine.
But really, we are going to need a cooler name than a Q-UVG. Who’s in charge of the marketing for this campaign, anyway?
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And that is The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, May 17, 2024. I hope you can now head into your weekend with your head held high, because you have now been educated in all the news you may have missed. Have a good weekend!
Cowboy Conclusion: So, before you mosey on into the weekend, remember to hold your head high, like a lone ranger ridin' into the sunset. Thanks for joinin' us today, partners! Have yourselves a mighty fine weekend, and keep on keepin' up with the news. Happy trails, y'all!
The Alligator News Roundup