Today is Monday, November 27, 2023 and this is Alligator, Briefly Said, a feature of The Alligator Blog. Today’s episode is a short devotional highlighting Proverbs 22:29 Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.
King James says it somewhat better, I think: Seest thou a man diligent in his business?
It’s a matter of attending to the small details, because tripping over the small details can make big problems.
If you are listening to the audio version, stay tuned at the end for the commercial! Here we go!
OUT OF GAS ON I-35 (THE WONDER BREAD RIG) (PROVERBS 22:29)
When I traveled on business, it was frequently in a company car. Our carpool was noted for unreliability, and one of my tasks was to keep the vehicles in shape.
A business trip took me from Wichita to Little Rock and return. Because of uncooperative airline schedules, I chose to drive rather than fly. My steed was an ancient Ford Escort. It had not been out for a road trip in many months, but with recent extravagant maintenance upgrades I figured I should exercise it.
One thing I had not touched in the recent overhaul was the instrument cluster. The speedometer seemed to work fine, so I had not gone any deeper.
On the way home from Arkansas I was glued to my cell phone, which was customary. An earpiece made for hands-free operation, and while that passed muster with law enforcement, it was not conducive to paying attention.
After a long day in the saddle, and with 50 miles yet to go, I ran out of gas.
In my defense, I will say the gas gauge was faulty. This is plausible, yet why I thought I could drive 460 miles in a vehicle with a cruising range of 380 is an open question.
I coasted to the side of the interstate and listened to the engine tick as it cooled down.
At least I had cut the ignition as soon as it sputtered, to avoid running the fuel injection system dry. I was unsure what priming might be required and had no interest in finding out.
Standing beside the car as traffic whizzed by at 75 mph, I extended my thumb. At length, a black Chevy pulled over, the driver having noted (embarrassingly) the company logo on the side of the Ford. He must have thought I was a safe bet.
The service area was only 10 miles ahead. He dropped me at the convenience store, I thanked him, and he resumed his trip.
I entered the store.
Fifteen customers were in line.
I approached the single attendant at the counter, other customers eyeing me suspiciously.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” I said. “Do you have a gas can I can borrow?”
He looked up from the cash register, scanner in hand. “Sure,” he said. “Let me handle these people and I’ll get it for you.”
“Thanks,” I replied, and took my place at the end of the line.
Other customers entered. Some left. There was a perpetual line.
“Sorry,” the attendant said when I reached the front. “Let me just get these people taken care of.”
“Sure,” I said, and watched as another handful came in.
After another 10 minutes—where did all these inconsiderate customers come from? I left my place in line, took a plastic gallon jug of water off the shelf, and resumed the wait for the cash register.
At the counter, he said, “That’s not gas.” Customers laughed.
“Yeah, right,” I said. “I just need a gallon of gas, and this will do to carry it. I ran out 10 miles south of here.”
A customer was interested. “How’d you get here?”
“I hitchhiked.” Seeing his look of incredulity, I added, “How would you have done it?”
Others laughed.
“How you gonna get back?” one asked.
“Same way, I suppose,” I said. “Unless one of you fine people wants to give me a lift.” I gestured to my gallon of water. “After I ditch the water and buy gas at the pump.”
More laughter, then a stronger voice. “I’ll do it,” a man said, and pointed to the row of 18-wheelers in the parking lot. “Wonder Bread rig. I’ll see you there.”
I paid for the water, took it outside and dumped it out on the lawn, then filled the empty carton with gasoline from the pump, hoping the petrol would not eat through the thin plastic before I got back to the car.
Wonder Bread and I went south. He stopped on the side of the road and let me out, then pulled away with a “Good luck!”
Now I was on the shoulder of the southbound four-lane highway. My car was a hundred yards away on the northbound shoulder. The highway curved slightly, and it was now full dark. In the median there was a concrete abutment to separate the lanes.
I eyed the concrete structure. There were no breaks in it nearby, but I’m a tall boy and figured I could step over it. Barely. While carrying a gallon of gas in an unapproved container. In the dark.
Nothing about this seemed safe.
I watched on-coming southbound traffic. From the time their headlights emerged from the bend in the road I began counting seconds. Plenty of time to make the median.
Probably.
The highway briefly empty, I sprinted and then stepped over the barrier. The road to the south was clear. Another sprint, and I made the Escort as northbound traffic came on.
Next problem: Transferring from a gallon water container to the gas tank.
With the advent of unleaded gasoline, the diameter of automobile gas tank fill spouts got smaller. Some hide-bound standards-setting organization thoughtfully sized the spout to the gas pump handle, both much smaller than the short neck of the gallon water jug.
Furthermore, some over-protective safety officer decreed there should be a tiny metal flap inside the gas fill spout on the car. This was held open, normally with the gas pump hose inserted, for fuel to flow into the tank.
How to make the transfer?
I retrieved the empty plastic Mountain Dew bottle I had cast onto the floor of the back seat. Removing the cap, I realized it was still too large, and there was still that little steel flap.
Staring at the green plastic bottle by starlight, I found the answer.
I pulled my Leatherman multi-tool from the glove compartment and used the knife blade to cut a long chunk from the side of the green-tinted bottle. Removing the cap, I put the Leatherman into needle-nose-pliers configuration and slipped it inside the bottle. With the bottle tilted slightly down, the nose of the pliers protruded an inch past the neck of the bottle.
Removing the fill cap from the gas tank and the plastic cap from the faux gas can, I held the Mountain Dew bottle to the fill spout, pliers in place and the sliced-open side of the bottle facing up. When held just so, the Leatherman tool pushed the steel flap open slightly.
Open slightly was good enough.
With my other hand I slowly dribbled gas into the Mountain Dew bottle and let it run over the pliers into the gas tank.
In a few minutes, the transfer was done.
I smashed the empty jug flat and placed it and the Mountain Dew bottle in the trunk along with the Leatherman tool, to keep the odor out of the passenger compartment. Then I drove to the service area, filled the tank and threw away the used plastic.
There was probably nothing wrong with the fuel gauge. Only the driver.
THEOLOGICAL CONTEMPLATIONS
PROVERBS 22:29 Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.
The King James Version says, “diligent in his business”, which seems a little more to the point. Diligence, or skillfulness, is a descriptor of the whole person. Luke 16:9 may also shed light on this characteristic: Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Checking the gas gauge is about the most “very little” thing I can think of when on a business trip. Don’t you know I have important conference calls to conduct?
But that small lack of diligent attention can cause big problems. I shudder to think of the corporate review if I had been struck by a car or reported by a well-meaning citizen during this escapade.
“Hello, 9-1-1?’ There’s a crazy man running across the interstate in the dark. It looks like he’s carrying a Molotov Cocktail.”
Just check the gas gauge. It makes life easier.
But I do have kind thoughts of Wonder Bread now.
And that is as briefly said as I can say it. If you liked this episode and want to hear more, see the new paperback available at www.alligatorpublishing.com or at Amazon or wherever books are sold.
The Alligator Wrestler’s 52-Week Devotional Guide is available now, with more stories like this one from life, career, child rearing, and life in the 21st century, each episode with a Bible lesson built into it. Think: Christmas gift for the wayward relative who might not read a serious Christian book... or even a copy for yourself.
The audio version is up on Audible dot com now.
If you’re local, the book signing is tomorrow night at Friends University, 5:00 PM. Come by! If you’re not local, the Eisenhower Airport is open again after the snow and you can probably still catch a flight. See you there!
Have a good week!
Curt
Alligator, Briefly Said: Out of Gas on I-35 (the Wonder Bread Rig) (Proverbs 22:29)