Yes, I know. We have changed up the format of the ANR title this week. Try not to be upset. Random visitors surf substack publications constantly, and they may need a little more guidance than merely “The Alligator News Roundup.” I would hate for them to get bored and swipe onto the next article, and lose the benefit of our thinking.
If you are one of those swiping visitors, welcome! As long as you are surfing, surf here regularly!
You’ll like this story. It’s at the bottom. Read on!
Here are this week’s news stories to launch your weekend:
Number 5. Ride Apart dot com. California bill wants to stop you from modifying your e-bike.
Most e-bike manufacturers list a top speed of their consumer models at 20 mph. That seems like a reasonable compromise between safety and mobility.
But whoever said compromise was an American value?
It seems that many e-bikers in the Golden State have needed more juice. A robust aftermarket has developed among owners who have learned how to hack the bikes’ controllers to kill the governor. (The bike’s governor, not the state’s.)
The silent machines can now run at speeds up to… well… the article does not say how fast they can actually go. This is probably an example of responsible journalism, as promising 45 mph, or something, would be too appealing for any middle schooler to pass up.
California’s AB 1774, if signed by Gov. Newsom, will prohibit e-bike operators from tweaking the speed settings. Which is not precisely the same thing as preventing it.
Even 20 mph can be dangerous. I innocently stepped across the street in front of my house (we live on a cul-de-sac, which sounds better than a dead end) a couple of weeks ago. I was intent on examining my neighbor’s yard to see if his grass was shorter than mine, and whether it was time to get out the lawnmower. Looking the wrong direction, I was nearly run down by a silent e-bike approaching from the closed end of the street.
The closed end of the street is closed, yes, but for anything smaller than a car, it’s leaky.
I need to work on my situational awareness while wandering across the pavement. If the kid had been running at 40 instead of 20, I could be writing with a broken arm. Or he could.
However that might have come about.
Number 4. Fox News. Texas grocery store gets ammunition vending machine.
I have to admit, I had not thought of this one.
The local supermarket in Canyon Lake, Texas, is the first in the state to add a vending machine with your choice of live ammunition. On your trip to the grocery store, pick up a couple of bags of chips, a 24-pack of Coors and 300 rounds of 9 mm for your afternoon’s enjoyment!
Other retail outlets across Alabama and Oklahoma have joined the trend. A vendor in Colorado has a new machine planned for later this month.
American Rounds is the supplier behind this initiative. Their AARMs (Automated Ammo Retail Machines) are placed in 9 states to date, and they have requests from 200 more stores.
To ensure sales are safe and legal, the AARMs use state-of-the-art secure software and facial recognition.
It’s a great new way to use technology to make life smoother and less complicated for the shooters in our midst.
But there is always a kill-joy among us. Read on to the next article.
Number 3. Inc dot com. Bullet vending machines are sweet targets for hackers.
Well. That was quick!
The vending machine has a computer. Therefore, says a cybersecurity researcher, it can be hacked. We are not quite sure yet what the hackishness will cause, but we suspect it will be the usual suspects: Credit card information and the normal private stuff than can lead to identity theft.
With ammunition, there may be new threats, such as releasing your purchase history to an audience you’d rather avoid.
If you are buying ammo, the audiences you’d rather avoid could be anything from local gang-bangers to your freeloading shooting buddy to faceless 3-letter government agencies.
No, it would probably never happen… just like it would never happen that AT&T (AT&T! That bastion of security-minded brainiacs!) could lose sensitive data on cell phone calls for over 100 million customers. According to reports, “nearly all” of AT&T’s wireless customers’ data, including social security numbers, were exposed in 2022.
Even though that particular data breach occurred 2 years ago, AT&T did not learn of it until April this year. At the request of the U.S. Department of Justice, the public announcement was delayed until last week.
So, yeah, I’m down with using my credit card and my face to buy my next brick of .22s at an unattended kiosk at the corner grocery store. No problem.
What could possibly go wrong?
Number 2. Newsweek. Staffer “no longer" employed after Trump shooting post.
When former President Trump was wounded by a would-be assassin during a campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, last weekend, there was a sudden out-pouring of emotion from across the country.
Not all those emotions were exactly the same, but most were from the heart.
The one I found most intriguing was from the staffer working for U.S. Representative Bennie Thompson, D-Mississippi:
“Please get you some shooting lessons so you don’t miss next time!”
The staffer told the Natchez Democrat newspaper that she was merely overwhelmed in the moment because she is a “diehard Democrat.” Further, her comment was merely for comedy, and should not have been taken seriously. Which seems a little contradictory, given the “diehard Democrat” admission in the previous breath.
But, whatever. Rep. Thompson says that he was made aware of the staffer’s social media post and the individual “is no longer in my employment.”
Rep. Thompson, apropos of nothing whatsoever, introduced legislation earlier this year that would bar anyone convicted of a felony and sentenced to prison from Secret Service protection.
Extensive and detailed web research which I have conducted (by surfing to the official Secret Service website and reading for about 20 seconds) informs us that those entitled to such protection include:
President, VP and immediate families
Former presidents, spouses and minor children
Major presidential and VP candidates and spouses
That limits the persons who, under this proposal, would be denied Secret Service protection to a grand total of one individual, with spouse.
As a detail that bears no follow up, I wonder if a journalist will check employment records in a month or so to see if the person no longer on the payroll remains no longer on the payroll.
Just wondering.
Another aside: I would also be interested in the dialog between Trump and his plastic surgeon a few weeks from now.
Doctor: Not to worry, Mr. President. The injury is not large, and we can reconstruct your right ear so that it will look entirely normal.
Trump: Not on your life! I’ve got a big, beautiful hole in my ear, and I want it to stay just that way!
And by the way: If you are watching the video version of this, you may see that I am dressed a little more casually this week. I was given this t-shirt by the good folks at Welter Meats in Butler, Pennsylvania.
They were a customer of mine I visited about 3 years ago. I broke out the shirt this week in honor of Trump’s political rally in that beautiful small town. The incident there has put Butler PA on the map.
This one is truly heart-warming, and I mean that sincerely. No satire here.
Ivy, a Golden Retriever, and Callie, a German Shepherd-Belgian Malinois mix, have been successfully trained by researchers at Dallhousie University in Canada to detect PTSD.
Your dog’s sense of smell is up to 100,000 times more perceptive than yours and mine. Canines detect the odor of hormones exhaled by humans, which explains how they can seem to tell when we are stressed.
As a parenthetical note, my wife Mrs. Alligator, and her yellow Labrador companion Ellie, came across a solitary hiker with a broken leg while fly-fishing a remote lake once in Colorado. Lynn got a message to a ranger station and waited for help to arrive. Ellie stayed close to the woman victim continuously, obviously sensing the danger and offering companionship.
Hooray for Ellie!
According to Good News Network, each of us gives off a scent profile made of volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These are molecules in bodily secretions such as sweat. The VOCs are all different, their uniqueness influenced by genetics, age, activity and other… technical medical stuff.
In the case of the Dallhousie dogs, these two can apparently sense VOCs generated specifically in relationship to post-traumatic stress disorder.
Each dog finds this in a different way. Ivy can sense adrenaline, and Callie can find cortisol. In both cases, the research team found the dogs could accurately predict the onset of a PTSD episode before it begins, by sniffing the breath of the human.
Ivy’s detection was correlated with the subjects’ anxiety level, while Callie’s correlated with feelings of shame.
The findings offer hope of early intervention to reduce the impact of a traumatic episode.
The dogs should get a treat of this.
In fact, they did… lots of them. Ms. Kiiroja, the trainer, reported, “Their limitless appetite for treats was an asset. It was much harder to convince them to take a break than to commence work. Callie in particular made sure there was no dilly-dallying.”
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And that is The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, July 19, 2024. Take some time to pet your dog, or if you don’t have one, see if you can pet someone else’s dog.
If you’d like to learn how to create a Substack blog with a video like this one, I can probably help. Reach out to me for brief discussion on how that might come about. Click the link below.
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