The Alligator News Roundup

Number 5. Nature dot com. Plasma regime for fusion energy.

It’s not exactly satire, but this one has been a long time coming, and I am glad we are a step closer. The science is way beyond my level (which is confined to basic cooking using a skillet and olive oil) but from what I gather, scientists are closing in on nuclear FUSION to generate electricity.

The U.S. has been using nuclear FISSION in civilian reactors (and almost every U.S. Navy warship) for 50 years. Nuclear fission is really, really dangerous, which was highlighted in The China Syndrome (1979, Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon, Michael Douglas). Almost everything most Americans know about the dangers of nuclear fission comes from that movie.

We are all very familiar with the incredible risk of a runaway nuclear reactor melting down, because of the complete disregard for safety precautions on the part of greedy electric utility owners. As soon as the Danger Dial on the side of the reactor goes into the red, all the employees scamper away to safety while something called the “Core” gets super-hot and burns itself through the 30-foot-thick cement floor and digs itself all the way to China, thus destroying Life As We Know It.

Furthermore, we are convinced of the dangers because of Chernobyl (1986) and Fukushima (2011), and all the dozens of U.S. Navy ships that blew up from over-heated reactors.

Okay, not the Navy ships. In fact, we have never lost even a single ship due to reactor problems, but only because they are maintained by highly proficient technical experts with a lifetime of training and advanced nuclear power degrees, even though they are all about 19 years old.

But still, fission does require the use of uranium, which is dangerous because of the radioactivity. Fusion, on the other hand, uses deuterium and lithium, both of which are safe and abundant. If you get the fusion components hot enough (like really, truly hot) they will create enough heat to generate electricity.

Making the pieces that hot requires lots of electricity, and also takes some machines with intimidating names to hold everything together. You can either use a stellarator or a Tokamak, neither of which are listed on Amazon. (I think “stellarator” was the original name of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie before it was changed.)

The recent breakthrough, however, is that the fusion process successfully created an output of more electricity than was put in to produce it in the first place. Put in 1 billion units of electricity, get 1.1 billion units of electricity back. At that point, it’s just a matter of scalability. Which is no small challenge, but somebody will figure it out, and then maybe we really can power the DeLorean with some trash and a can of Pepsi.

Safety issues: To shut off the fusion gizmo, you just turn down the heat and everything stops. Nothing melts into the earth’s crust and nothing makes people glow in the dark or grow extra eyes.

Fusion offers the promise of completely replacing coal and petroleum in the generation of electricity.

We will know nuclear fusion is reaching viability when Exxon starts investing in it.

Number 4. Jalopnik dot com. South Carolina no longer being nice to “Carolina Squat” drivers.

I guess I didn’t realize drivers could really be this stupid, but here it is.

“Carolina Squat” refers to modifying the suspension of a pickup truck so that the front end is lifted substantially above the back end, and then can be driven in that manner. The front end may be lifted two feet above manufacturer’s specs.

Apparently the Carolina Squat does not jump, but rather is a static configuration. Consider how much area in front of the truck is NOT visible to the driver.

South Carolina, which for some reason seems to be Ground Zero for such trucks, has now begun ticketing drivers if the front fender is more than 4 inches higher than the rear fender.

A lot of bicycles and kids can disappear below the line of sight with such a lift.

Perhaps a mere ticket is not severe enough for this level of stupidity.

Number 3. The Gateway Pundit. The food is no good at all.

That would be the free food we are talking about.

Newcomers to New York City (not to say illegals, because that would be uncourteous), have lodged serious complaints about the poor quality of free meals served at free city shelters.

The food is apparently so bad that over a thousand migrants swarmed City Hall demanding a menu upgrade.

Owing to certain narrow-minded rules by the City Council, only 250 complainers were allowed inside to speak.

The message was clear and understandable: “You give us only two months of free lodging and feed us free meals we don’t really like. And then you will make us pack our luggage and move out and try to find someplace to live. At least you could feed us better, as long as you’re giving it away.”

The article lists no response from the New York City City Council. At least none that could be printed by The Gateway Pundit.

Number 2. Outdoor Hub dot com. Angler earns $100,000 catching pikeminnows.

Here’s an option for you retired people who just want to go fishing and not be bothered.

The states of Washington and Oregon are battling pikeminnows, an invasive species threatening other fishes. Their respective Departments of Fish and Wildlife have sponsored the Northern Pikeminnow Sport-reward Program to control the pikeminnow population.

At risk are juvenile salmon and steelhead trout. Both of these are in high demand for sport fishing in the Northwest, which means commerce, which means state tax revenue; so the state Departments are justified in sponsoring serious monetary payouts to anglers who can catch the pikeminnows.

In 2023, 12,000 fishermen participated in the program. The top winner harvested over 10,000 of the nasty aquatic critters for a payout of $10 each. That’s $100,000. Second place went to a guy with 9,800 fish, also paid at 10 bucks per.

That probably funded his new Winston flyrod. If he could match that up with a YouTube channel, he could make serious money.

Number 1. KWCH News, Wichita. Lawmakers override veto of Bane’s Law.

I cannot resist this one because it is so righteously heart-warming.

In 2023, a Sedgwick County (Wichita) police canine unit was killed in the line of duty. A violent offender had been pursued by police and crawled into a drainage culvert to hide.

Bane, a courageous police dog, went in after him. Details are sketchy, but Bane did not come out alive.

The perpetrator did, and was arrested. At the time, the penalty for conviction of killing a police dog was 30 days in jail and a $5,000 fine.

The Republican-dominated legislature passed an upgrade to the penalty this year under a statute called “Bane’s Law.” The new penalties are a minimum of 90 days in prison and a $10,000 fine. Bane’s Law would apply to both police dogs and police horses.

Democrat Governor Laura Kelly vetoed Bane’s Law, saying it required more study.

The Kansas House voted to override the veto 105-20; the Senate 29-10. So much for that. Bane’s Law is now in effect in Kansas.

What happened in that culvert? It is the stuff of nightmares. And tears. And indignation. And righteous fury.

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And that is The Alligator News Roundup for Friday May 3, 2024. The year is flying by! Just think, you have already worked almost long enough this year to pay your income taxes. One day soon, you can start working for yourself!

Have a good weekend! Don’t forget to Like and Share!