Number 4. Just the News. Oversight Project investigation: Biden autopen signature used on documents.
It just gets better and better.
The now widely acknowledged mental decline of the U.S. Chief Executive in the last months — or years — of his presidency is once again in the news. What we customarily think of as presidential pardons are more correctly described as acts of presidential clemency, except that “acts of presidential clemency” does not roll off the tongue quite so well, and also, almost no one knows what clemency is.
According to the Pew Research Center, here are acts of clemency offered by a president or a governor:
A pardon forgives a past crime and makes it as though it never happened.
A commutation reduces a convict’s sentence but does not eliminate the crime.
A remission reduces a financial penalty imposed with a conviction.
A respite is a temporary suspension of a sentence, usually for a medical condition.
During the Biden administration, there were 4,245 acts of clemency, the most in American history. Only 80 of those were pardons — some for crimes not yet admitted or even charged, on which more later — and the other 4,000-odd were commutations… reduced sentences.
In a clemency race, Biden is the clear winner. Total acts of clemency by U.S. presidents chasing Biden’s record of legal largesse are, in descending order, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, Harry Truman, Barack Obama, Calvin Coolidge and Lyndon Baines Johnson.
More than half of Biden’s acts came in the last weeks of his term.
Based on research by The Oversight Project, the Missouri Attorney General is now calling for a Department of Justice investigation into who actually signed all those pardons and commutations. In an incredibly brave and unparalleled act of journalistic initiative (a little sarcasm there) The Oversight Project searched high and low for copies of the publicly-available presidential orders.
Virtually every single order had exactly the same signature, made by something called an “Autopen.” This is an electrical device with a “multi-axis robotic arm.” The device has access to an actual signature, stored digitally, and uses a physical writing instrument to reproduce the signature.
Writing one’s signature over and over can be physically demanding, and sometimes the scrawl comes out in embarrassing illegibility. A president obligated to long sessions with the pen can tire easily. It is much easier for him to sit at a desk with a briefcase-sized machine to do the heavy lifting. Read the document, listen to the briefing from the nearby staffer, push the button and watch the robotic arm apply the ink.
That “push the button” action is where it gets a little ambiguous.
Thomas Jefferson notwithstanding, Barack Obama was the first president to use an Autopen to sign legislation in Washington D.C. It was the so-called “Fiscal Cliff Bill” of January 2013, signed while the president was actually in Hawaii.
In the waning days of the Biden administration, the Autopen got a real workout. Thousands of presidential acts of clemency were authorized by the Autopen.
I frankly don’t see much difference between a rubber stamp and an Autopen, except that the latter is more high tech and adds a little more dignity to the document if you want to frame it and hang it on the wall. The legitimacy of the electronic signature is probably a Constitutionally gray area. Obama’s legislation is now 12 years in the past, and to channel Hillary, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”
But Biden’s use of the Autopen — or rather, the use of the Autopen on Biden’s behalf — makes us somewhat more thoughtful. It raises the obvious question as to who controlled the Pen. Who, exactly, was the button-pusher?
The Gateway Pundit reports that 6 criminal pardons were signed by Autopen on December 30, 2022, long before the public was aware of the president’s cognitive problems. On that day, President Biden was vacationing in St. Croix, not signing documents behind the Resolute Desk.
Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey wants answers. He has asserted that pardons and other executive orders accomplished by the Autopen ought to be declared unconstitutional and void.
This would be a particularly relevant item of interest for Hunter Biden, and also for Joe Biden’s family members, including siblings and spouses, who all received pardons on January 20, 2025, his last day in office. The legal questions may also relate to pardons for Dr. Anthony Fauci, General Mark Milley, and the several House Committee members who conducted the J6 investigation.
You would think that an order remotely given from, say, St. Croix, to sign a document in Washington D.C. with the Autopen, might be memorialized by a local signature in St. Croix documenting the fact. That would provide an audit trail and go a long ways toward silencing critics who smell a rat.
But that’s just me.
Number 3. Breitbart. Trump relaunches Biden’s CBP One app as a self-deportation tool.
In a uniquely Trumpish twist, the much-ballyhooed phone app that allowed migrants to schedule meetings with a Customs & Border Protection (CBP) agent to smooth entry into the U.S. now has a new focus.
The app called “CBP-One” was discontinued by the administration very soon after the inauguration ceremony on January 21. The re-launched app is called “CBP-Home” and provides many of the same features, such as allowing a truck moving cargo into the U.S. to schedule the legally required inspection, or allowing a tour bus to submit names of passengers before arriving.
This legitimately saves time at the border, much as new motor vehicle apps allow us to schedule drivers’ license renewal visits ahead of time.
There is a new feature, however, which allows an illegal alien already inside the U.S. to declare their intent to leave voluntarily. It is intended as an above-board and non-confrontational way to facilitate that departure. It’s probably less stressful than being handcuffed and removed during a worksite compliance review.
And there is a corresponding feature conspicuously absent from CBP-Home. This is the one that previously allowed migrants to apply for asylum in the U.S. The article indicates that CBP-One had provided an entry path for 970,000 migrants who accessed the app during the Biden administration. At the time of its termination two months ago, there were another 300,000 applicants in the pipeline. None of those made it in.
At least you have to admire the irony: Repurpose the app which was intended to open the gates, and use it to close them.
Number 2. Fox News. Arkansas public schools to require gun safety courses.
It’s probably high time for this one.
Every 10-year-old boy I have ever been around — with perhaps a handful of exceptions — know exactly what to do with a gun: Pick it up, point it at someone, put a finger on the trigger and say something threatening. Preferably with a gravelly voice.
The fascination is understandable, for all the media-related reasons we know so well.
Now Arkansas lawmakers have mustered the courage to say the other thing we all know: Respect for the gun is something that must be trained.
In a perfect world, every pre-teen would learn safe gun handling from Dad or Uncle or big brother.
Newsflash: This is not a perfect world. It is unfortunate that the pure, created moral state of this planet happens to have fallen into unrecoverable disrepair some thousands of years ago, but there it is; ours now to deal with it.
In Arkansas, that means every child in public school will learn about firearms in what is hopefully a dry, boring, tedious study of cartridge cases, bullet velocities, muzzle control and safe target identification. Lessons on ear and eye protection. Video after video on revolver actions, hammer sears, striker firing sequences, semi-automatic magazine capacities and recoil springs. Perhaps advanced modules on legal restrictions around ownership, storage, hunting regulations and possession.
Classes begin fall 2025. Yet to be determined are the starting age for such exposure and the curriculum. The only firm decisions to date are (a) the training will happen and is not optional, and (b) if live-fire exercises are offered, parents will be allowed to opt their child out.
Years ago, I advised our sons — young at that time — that at some point in their lives they would find themselves in the presence of a firearm. This would likely be at a friend’s house. In that eventuality, I expressed the desire that they themselves would be the most competent person in the room as regards the gun.
There have been some fairly remarkable and affirming results from implementing that parental declaration, and I could regale you with incidents… but those are their stories, not mine. Let’s move on.
Number 1. The Guardian. Rodent for dinner? U.S. residents encouraged to eat invasive nutria.
California, on the other hand, is at the other end of the spectrum. What a shock.
The golden state, however, came perilously close to common sense and managed to put a lid on it at the last moment.
As reported earlier in the ANR, California has been subjected to an out-of-control invasion by nutria, a rodent similar in size and appearance to a muskrat or beaver. Nutria grow to about two feet long and have plush fur. They are vegetarians, which ought to promote them high up on the Scale of Woke, but they also tend to destroy wetlands and cropland. This causes serious cognitive dissonance among humans who generally want to be nice to smaller critters, as long as they don’t cost us money.
To resolve the issue, the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, in concert with federal wildlife officials, have recommended adding nutria to Californians’ diets. They suggest the meat tastes like rabbit or dark turkey meat. They further suggest that tasty recipes can be found at nutria.com.
If you are wondering, as I was at this point in the article, what is recommended as a method to harvest the nutria for my dinner, officials made it clear: “CDFW officials do not encourage hunting nutria.”
You should EAT nutria, but you should not HUNT nutria. Stopped themselves just in time, they did.
Their point seemed to be that gunfire might mistakenly target other species, nearly all of which seem to be endangered in California, and thus destroy a helpless critter which should NOT be eaten.
So, if the gun is not the answer, then maybe a baseball bat on a dark night? It could bring a whole new meaning to an evening of clubbing with friends.
Actually, we should probably encourage AI software upgrades for starlight rifle scopes. A government-sponsored $2 million prize for an intelligent night scope that can clearly identify a nutria might attract a lot of Silicon Valley interest. Put it atop a noise-suppressed AR-15 platform chambered for .300 Blackout subsonic rounds, and you might have a real winner.
Thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, March 14, 2025. One month to file your taxes!
Still day-dreaming about the nutria: Watch some Disney 1950 Davey Crockett TV productions to brush up your forest stalking skills, and bring one home for dinner. I’ve never field dressed one (or even seen one) but people have been figuring that out for many thousands of years. It’s not that hard; I’ll bet there’s a Cabela’s video that will help. Start with a sharp blade. And please, make sure he’s dead first.
Have a good weekend!
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