The Alligator News Roundup

Number Nine. Space dot com. August’s full sturgeon moon rises.

Lest you think nothing remarkable ever happens in August besides 100+ temps, frantic last-minute vacations, dying grass, college tuition payments and back-to-school angst, this particular August graces us with two supermoons. One, you have already missed on August 2; the other is on August 31. 

For some reason, the supermoon (a slang astronomy term offered for us unedumicated types who can’t remember the difference between apogee and perigee) is called a sturgeon moon. Not sure what that has to do with the fish, but whatever.  

The orbit of the moon about the Earth is slightly elliptical – squashed, as it were – and so the moon’s distance varies from 226,000 miles to 253,000 miles. Furthermore, the orbit wobbles (technical term) somewhat as it does not exactly follow the same path one orbit after another. This means it is more visible in some latitudes than others, one month to the next. 

When the moon is exactly on the other side of the Earth from the Sun, it becomes a full moon, because from our vantage point the surface of the moon catches the full light of the Sun. 

Then, when the moon is at orbital perigee (closest to Earth) it naturally appears slightly larger than when it is further away. When the perigee coincides with a full moon, we are treated to a larger-than-normal sight of Luna in all its shiny splendor. If, that is, there are no clouds, and if it occurs at local night. 

Yeah… well… so what? 

In Genesis 1:16 “God made two great lights…” one for the day, the other for the night. I find it really intriguing that, first, He thought to provide light in the night, when one could argue we really don’t need it.  

Second, the illumination offered by the moon changes from time to time as the orbit dictates what we know as phases: crescent, quarter, half, full; waxing and waning. The cycles are predictable, given enough time, and this realization prompted people in centuries past to dig deeper into the complexities of the trigonometry involved. (At least, I think it’s trig. I was a Speech major.) 

Those complexities, once researched, led to even more intriguing and intellectually stimulating fields of research, expanding human knowledge and contributing to vast improvements in our standard of living. (If only we can withstand the onslaught of godless, heathen Mother Earth-worshiping, which seeks to deprive us of air conditioning and cooked food.) 

Third, the moon is pretty. It does not have to be, but it is; in the same way a Monarch butterfly and a black widow spider and a leopard on the run and a cascading waterfall are pretty. (“Pretty” should not be confused with “approachable.”) 

Why did God make them so? 

I suppose because He could, and apparently, He takes delight in offering us delights. (Chocolate chip cookies, for example.) When I get there maybe I will ask Him. 

The second full moon in one calendar month, by the way, is called a blue moon. This is not as rare as our common usage of that phrase suggests; because the moon’s orbit is only 28.5 days, the perigee occurs in the same (arbitrary, modern, Gregorian calendar) 30-day period every two or three years.  

Number Eight. Daily Wire dot com. Illegal Chinese-run California lab stored dangerous pathogens.

In the “if they can, somebody probably will” department, Fresno County officials seized an unassuming warehouse in Reedley, California, which housed scientists and more. Authorities found HIV, chlamydia, E. Coli, streptococcus pneumonia, hepatitis, herpes, rubella, malaria and about 1,000 dead mice. The mice were seemingly infected with various strains of these pathogens. 

Prestige Biotech had taken over the facility from Universal Meditech. The onsite Prestige rep is Wang Zhaolin, and the company president is Xiuquin Yao, an alleged Chinese national. Mr. Xiuquin was apparently unavailable for comment, but Mr. Wang helpfully pointed out that the mice were genetically engineered to make it easier for them to contract and distribute COVID-19.  

And here you thought mice were unappreciated. 

In addition to the list of nasty things above, there were some 800 different chemicals found in that many different bottles, mostly unlabeled. And there was some evidence that when leftover chemicals were no longer needed, they were simply dumped in an open trash can for the landfill.  

The assumption might be that because no one knows what the chemicals are, landfill workers probably cannot be hurt by them. But they might want to wash their hands frequently, just to be safe. 

Absent from this story is any notion of how many other Chinese-owned warehouse laboratories like this one may be operating in the U.S.

Or Mexico. Or anywhere else, for that matter. 

It is a triumph of globalism and probably a shining example of the effectiveness of open borders. 

Number Seven. One American News Network. 76-year-old couple robbed, held hostage in their own home.

North Carolina, April 2023. Two men dressed as construction workers knocked on the door of a 76-year-old couple’s home to announce they were inspecting water pipes for damage.  

When the wife opened the door, they entered, zip tied her hands and dragged her into the bathroom. The surprised husband was similarly restrained and forced to access his cryptocurrency account. Over the next hour, under graphic threats of physical dismemberment, he transferred $150,000 out of his account and into theirs.  

The armed perpetrators were assisted by a third co-conspirator who coached them by speakerphone through the nuances of electronic robbery. Oh, for a simpler time when one could simply snag the cash from the dresser drawer. 

While they did not seriously injure the elderly couple, the invaders did smash computers and cell phones before they left, and then immediately checked their own crypto account balances for a very short victory celebration.  

They were both arrested, having left a trail half a mile wide with cell phone records and credit card transactions. 

There is no report as to whether the cash was recovered.  

Similarly absent is any mention as to why in the name of heaven the door was ever opened to strangers in the first place, or why neither resident had legal access to a firearm. On which topic, see the following.  

Number Six. The Federalist. Gun ownership is probably far more widespread than we thought.

It’s really hard to get reliable self-reported information from gun owners. Pretty tight-lipped, that crowd. Those who do not own a firearm, and never intend to, probably report that condition honestly. Those who do, probably never report it to a surveyor honestly. 

Unsubstantiated guesswork places the number of firearms owned by Americans at 400 million. It is not completely without basis, as one can probably find industry figures that estimate quantities manufactured. The thing about guns, however, is they almost never wear out, given any thoughtful degree of maintenance, such as, don’t leave it submerged in the cattle trough for a decade.  

There is a strong likelihood that millions of private collections include firearms 100 years old or more. This makes the 400 million figure seem laughably small.  

Given that background, it is surprising that anyone ever invades any home at all. Equally surprising is that residents, particularly vulnerable residents, rarely seem to have one near and in working order when needed.  

I would never say they deserve each other, but both perpetrators and potential victims might do well to consider the situation. And take steps. 

Number Five. Fox News. South African political leader calls violence against white citizens.

Oh, the joy of unrestrained singing! A hundred thousand enthusiastic voices lifting “Dubul’ ibhunu” to the skies from a South African stadium has got to be a spiritual experience, especially when the point is to free the oppressed and right past wrongs. 

Even if the lyrics translate to “Shoot to kill! Kill the Boer! Kill the farmer!” one must really appreciate the passionate sincerity so lacking in so much of the world. The fact that the vocal was accompanied recently by the sound of rapid gunfire only shows the depth of commitment on the part of Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) at their Marxist political rally. 

A Boer, which translates to “farmer,” is a descendant of Dutch speakers who began to settle South Africa 300 years ago.   

EFF leadership has stated plainly they intend to seize land from white owners, without compensation and by any means necessary, to regain equality for South Africa’s black majority. The urgent moral need to right past wrongs from 10 generations ago, it would seem, now requires murder, theft, and quite likely, civil war. 

Who exactly gets to take title to the seized land is a detail left unaddressed at present. 

Number Four. The Western Journal. Alaska mayor proposes solution to homeless.

The horns of a dilemma describes that in which the mayor of Anchorage finds himself. The homeless population in his city has swelled in recent years. Never a particularly kind climate for those with no shelter, approaching winter has made the problem of where to house the house-less a matter of life and death. 

The state denied funding for an expansive homeless shelter for the city and the city lacks funds to build a proper shelter on their own.  

So, the mayor proposes sending certain persons to Los Angeles with a one-way ticket, paid for by city funds. At least it is warm enough there that they probably won’t die of exposure this winter, which is a certainty in Anchorage. 

The fact that the homeless in question tend to be Dena’ina (Alaskan Native) has made this an issue of racism. (A European-descended white born in Alaska is a Native Alaskan. Don’t get them mixed up, because racial identity is everything. For some reason or other.)  

Critics of the mayor’s plan claim that the soon-to-be-dispossessed Alaskan Natives OWN Alaska as their home, presumably unlike Native Alaskans whose family may have lived there for the last hundred years and who do NOT own the land. Even though the former may own nothing, and the latter may own houses and acreage. 

It is all quite confusing. 

What is NOT confusing is the deadly Alaskan winter, a silent, creeping and unavoidable fact fundamental to this story. 

November nighttime low temps in Anchorage range from 16F to 24F. By February, nights are rarely below -6F, which is not as cold as a flatlander from the Lower 48 might have thought. But still, cold enough. 

Meanwhile, one wonders what steps the actual individuals most at risk are taking to prepare against the certainty of freezing to death in about 90 days. Perhaps their plan is to exercise patience and trust in someone else’s moral code for deliverance. 

Number Three. Washington Examiner. Portland is dying.

A billion here, a billion there. 

On balance, the idea of air-freighting homeless Alaskan Natives to Los Angeles or San Diego is probably a better choice than Portland, Oregon.  

That pearl of the Pacific northwest lost some 14,000 residents who moved out of Multnomah County in 2020, taking their tax payments with them. As a result, Portland’s city revenue was down $1 billion by 2021.  

In addition, some $2.3 million was paid by the city to recover from the Summer-of-Mostly-Peaceful-Justice-for-Knee-Strangled-Drug-Addicts-Who-Resisted-Arrest riots. 

The pandemic, which urged those who still were interested in working to work from home – which could be a home far away, thanks to the internet – and which saw mandatory masking for all but the thousands participating in said riots (because somehow the riots offered immunity from whatever it was the masks protected them from) was a catalyst for the exodus.  

The pandemic, however, does not really account for the 200+% increase in fentanyl deaths in the city, nor does it explain why the city council thought it necessary to public safety to make heretofore illegal hard drugs suddenly legal, or why homelessness (and tents, and unimaginable filth) grew by 50%, destroying the once-pristine city parks dotting the downtown landscape. 

But those trends do explain why the population, enjoying unbroken, steady growth for 30 years, has suddenly plateaued and now shows signs of measurable long-term decline. 

More loss generates more loss, and less tax revenue prompts less tax revenue. Any city faces the same Big 5 responsibilities: Streets, water, storm sewer, sanitary sewer, police. And these do not include expenses for city government administration itself.  

It will be of interest to observe what Portland will look like in 20 years. Mad Max comes to mind.  

Number Two. Fox News. State doled out overpayments during COVID.

If you were ever tempted to believe that government incompetence penalized those most challenged by unfortunate circumstances of life in these United States, this story should bring a glimmer of enlightenment to your negatavist perspective.  

During the pandemic, federal funds were made available to states to distribute cash payments to those unemployed during the health crisis. (Note, I did not say, those unemployed BECAUSE OF the health crisis. But only a cold-hearted, uncaring perfectionist would see a difference in that distinction.) 

The PUA, Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program, offered up a virtually unlimited checkbook (which you have made available through the magic of federal bureaucracy) to state agencies, including the IDES, Illinois Department of Employment Security. 

Using state records, the IDES faithfully identified Illinois unemployed and accordingly paid out over $5 billion to qualified recipients, or at least to those who were DEEMED qualified. Because of the huge and unexpected influx of applicants, IDES suspended a few pesky time-consuming administrative procedures, such as those that verified whether the applicant was actually unemployed, or whether the name on the application actually matched the person who was unemployed, or even whether the applicant was alive. 

Those unemployed recipients, therefore, included not only those few and very few hucksters who unthinkably committed unimaginable fraud by asking for money to which they were not legally entitled, but the definition of unemployed also applied to those actively serving prison sentences and those who remained extant on state records even though they had been dead for some time. 

Well, there is some justification for this: The incarcerated ARE actually unemployed; and the dead are not now, nor will they ever be, employed in the state of Illinois.  

So, what exactly is your problem? 

Number One. Daily Wire. Ford loses billions on electric cars.

In the last 60 days, Bud Light has lost $13 billion for its parent company over Dylan Mulvaney; Target lost $10.8 billion over tuck-friendly swimwear; North Face lost $1.5 billion in backlash over LGBTQ friendly hiking apparel. That’s just since May. 

So, when Ford announced that it will lose a measly $4.5 billion for the entire year over electric vehicle sales losses, they appear to be rank amateurs at the lose-your-stockholder's-money game. Ford executives knew they were in for losses, estimating $3 billion of red ink this year in EV sector. They were only off by 50%, but that’s based on sales data for only 3 months. We shall see what the rest of the year holds. 

On the other hand, Ford may be seeing some light. They have converted much of the all-electric pickup design to hybrid, so that the truck can run on battery or on (gasp!) hated fossil fuels. Which customers seem to prefer, in the way that most of us prefer a Dairy Queen chocolate malt to a root canal, given the choice.

But really, only $4.5 billion?? When your parent company has revenues ten times that?? Time for Ford to join the big boys, er, girls, maybe. All they really need to do is recruit Dylan Mulvaney to advertise their EV F-150s at the beach with children in Target swimsuits. That will get them real notoriety. 

And that’s the Alligator News Roundup. Have a good weekend! Take a spin in an air-conditioned gas guzzler and enjoy it while it lasts!

Curt